Livin’ on a Prayer

We had a fairly uneventful weekend. There was much pregnant hormonal moodiness, but really, at this point, I think that’s to be expected, no? Especially with the heat and the humidity. Blech.

After doing next to nothing on Friday, the husband put his foot down on Saturday and said we were getting the hell out of the apartment. I think if he stayed there another second, it might have just killed him. We went to lunch, and then gas prices and college educations that we need to pay for be damned, we drove the 40 miles or so to the fancy dancy mall I love so much. I think he did it because it put us in air conditioning for the longest amount of time possible.

While we were in the mall, we passed my favorite ever Banana Republic. The Banana that I haven’t bought anything in since before Christmas last year since, ya know, the whole baby thing happened. The Banana that I had planned on buying new summer clothes at this year, because really, my summer wardrobe is is pretty lame, and needs some updating. That Banana. I miss Banana and their nice fabrics that are cut well and fit me nicely. I’m pretty sure they miss me and my Luxe card too. Even the husband has done a pretty good job of staying out of the store in solidarity (He’s been better at it than he has been at the not drinking thing, and really the shopping is harder on me, although I REALLY want a margarita). I think the husband caught me glancing longingly at the store from the other end of the mall, and he started talking about my “triumphant return” to Banana, which (not to his surprise) I have all planned out. Back in January they sent out a 15% discount card that could be used for 1 day, any day in 2008. So, I’m saving it for my birthday. I figure by then, I’ll be back at a weight that I can sustain and justify the buying of $70.00 jeans for again. He’s a little worried that I’ll do something embarrassing when I do finally go back, but I think in reality he should just be worried about the damage to the little tykes college fund. Jeans, sweaters, shirts, dress pants, oh my!

I talk a big game, but I would never actually spend that much money on clothing. But I can already feel the super soft fabric of the sweater I am going to buy myself that has probably not even been manufactured yet by the poor child laborers in some third world country. I’ll show it to the baby and remind him that yes, life could be worse even when he thinks I am the meanest mother around.

In other news, Ticketmaster FINALLY released the tickets for the concert on Saturday and I was able to print them today. I was getting a little nervous that something was going to go wrong and I wouldn’t get them at all with all the reports of Ticketmaster totally screwing up the tickets. The concert starts at 8 PM, but the ‘doors’ open at 2 PM. I’m not really sure how that’s going to work for me. I’m not really down with hanging in Central Park for 6 hours waiting for the concert to start. But at the same time, I don’t want to not get there till 7 PM and be ALL the way in the back of the crowd. I guess we’ll have to go see how my pregnant butt feels on Saturday morning and decide then. I might have to force myself to go to bed extra early on Friday so I’m well rested for a day in the sun on Saturday. So excited!!!

And GO!

Monday was June 30th. August still seemed miles and miles away! There was plenty of time to get everything done. Nothing to worry about.

Tuesday, though, Tuesday’s date was July 1st. July is the month before August. On the radio that morning on my drive to work, every morning DJ was doing their best to point out that it was July 1st, the 4th of July weekend was rapidly approaching, the next thing you know, it’ll be August, and the summer will be OVER!

But wait a second - I’m not ready for the summer to be over! By the time the summer’s over, I’ll have (hopefully) survived the traumatic experience of giving birth and I’ll have an adorable and healthy little boy that I AM GOING TO HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF. Seriously, I don’t think I’m ready for that!

In December, when I was crying on the bathroom floor over the prospect of paying for day care and college, and the uncertainty of the MAJOR life changes that suddenly lay ahead, (I’m shallow, this isn’t new, this girl loves her fancy vacations and damn it, I was supposed to go to Italy this year! And yes, I recognize that if my biggest concern was daycare and a postponed trip to Europe, that I’m doing pretty good, just let me have my self pity, m’kay?) August seemed like it was forever and a half away. I had plenty of time to grow up, become responsible, and get myself together in general for this motherhood thing. But now, now its all happening next month, and HOLY CRAP what if I screw it up?

Once the realization that this baby that is kicking me in the ribs is going to want to come out sometime in the next 7-8 weeks had fully sunk in, the realization that there is still a TON of stuff that we have to get also hit me like a ton of bricks. Against my better judgment, I listened to my mother, and I’ve held off buying the big things on our registry. Things like the crib mattress and the infant car seat that we need to take baby home from the hospital. While the baby shower that I know is being thrown for me has yet to happen (and as its a surprise, I don’t actually know when its coming, just that it is, and have I mentioned that my bridal shower was a DISASTER, that I hate being the center of attention at these types of things as in my family the main focus of them is to poke fun at the guest of honor which I am just not down with, and I’m a tad bit nervous/terrified about a baby shower), I’m starting to loose any hope that such major items are going to get purchased for me. Which is fine, when we registered we viewed it more as a list of things we wanted to buy for baby and getting anything as a gift was an added bonus. That said, I had wanted to spread out the pain of purchasing these things so we didn’t have a big cash crunch right before baby was born, and I stop getting paid. But I listened to my mother and it seems that theory has backfired on me. Crap. Insert more stress here.

But for the moment, I am going to choose not to focus on any of that. Because I JUST managed to score tickets to the FREE Bon Jovi concert in Central Park. So, the excitement is winning out over the stress for now. Thank god for that!

So, who was it that thought being pregnant in the summer was going to be a good idea?

I guess no one actually thought that. But I am starting to fully understand why everyone said it’s a really bad idea. Of course, when they were telling me that, there wasn’t a whole hell of a lot I could do about it by then other than just suck it up. And turn on the A/C, which I actually did over the weekend. I was melting. I resisted as long as I could, but eventually, I gave in.

The husband was off working this weekend, as he has been for the last week. He’s on his last trip before the baby is born. Its crazy that we are close enough now that we can start thinking about every day things in terms of before and after the baby being born. Since the husband was out and about and I was bored, I forced my lazy pregnant ass up off the couch yesterday afternoon and did a mini-maternity shoot on myself. Considering how um, hackish the whole thing was, I think several of the photos actually came out half way decent. Some of them show a little too much of myself for the internet to see them, but there are a couple that I am sure will make an appearance here in the next week or so. The above photo is one of them.

I have definitely gotten to that point in the pregnancy where I really feel it. If I’m on my feet for too long, the simple act of walking across a room can leave me winded. And let’s not even talk about what happens if god forbid something falls on the floor. The OJ container and I had a small disagreement yesterday morning. I cleaned up the mess after it happened, or so I thought. I discovered later that I missed a couple spots. But it took until this morning for me to gather up the will power to drag my butt down on the floor again to clean up the remaining spots. I mean, how lame is that? I’ve also got a new appreciation for my stomach muscles now that they seem to have left the building. Its amazing how many things you do with them. I swear once I get the all clear I am going to do crunches every day, just because I can. And that’ll last about 1/2 a day, but its the thought that counts.

The getting winded thing is what really kills me. Getting winded climbing a couple flights of stairs is what got me running, but I can’t do that again for a few more months. I am hoping that I’ll remember how I feel now and use it as motivation to run that half marathon I want to run for my 30th birthday. Yes, I am going to train for a half marathon while I have a toddler that I am effectively going to be a single mom too for 1/3 of the year. Feel free to question my sanity now. I already am - and my ability to actually do it. But we’ll see.

32 weeks 4 days along. Less than 8 weeks to go!